© 2006 All Rights Reserved. Do not distribute or repurpose this work without written permission from the copyright holder(s).
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In the summer of 2004 sheep in the UK’s Yorkshire rallied against their keepers. Sheep are not as imbecilic as generally credited—close, but not quite. I imagine that one day in early spring a group particularly non-conciliatory, escape-driven sheep where forced together into a camp special for escape artists where they were meant to stay, but instead of languishing at the unassailable cattle grids designed to keep them constrained to their appointed pastures, the sheep rallied, and planned a great escape.
The knavish sheep walked right up to the metal, hoof-proof grids, laid on their sides, and rolled their way across 3 meters of metal to freedom.
With that brilliant (for a sheep) plan, they were free, roving the countryside seeking ways out of Nazi-occupied Europe—no, that was a movie—they were free to wander down to the nearby villages and feast on the buffets that the residents called gardens.
And just as a hero-sheep should be, they were utterly fearless. They ignored men trying to shoo them, and a hearty whack with a housewife’s broom didn’t stir them to go very far. Even dogs were set upon the beasts, but were spurned in favor of the tasty but forbidden vegetables and flowers they feasted upon.
One resident told the BBC that “It is soul destroying.”
The first mistake in dealing with the escape was to round up the escapees and put them back in the enclosure. They remembered their means of egress, and simply did so again, and in so doing, taught others the procedure of escape. Not unlike the Nazis in the movie, the residents grew tired of fighting to contain their crafty allies over and over again. I don’t know if they got the idea from the movie, or if it was mere coincidence, but the sheep were dealt with the same way as the heroes from the movie: the offenders were shot. But such harsh recriminations weren’t able to stop the deluge. The sheep just kept on coming. Unwilling to pay for robot sentries or upgraded, redesigned cattle guards, they resorted to the only means available of saving their gardens: they destroyed the entire herd, and thus culled the knowledge from sheepdom.
For now, gardens are safe, but it cannot last. Victor Hugo wrote that “No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.” Maybe its time to start investing in those robot sentries to protect us from soul-destroying sheep.
Update: It seems that we were misinformed… the sheep were not destroyed after all.
Related links:
BBC Article
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Those sheep in the picture definitely look like they are planning something.
Oh man… this article both filled one with an odd sense of empathic hope and freedom from oppressive bonds and yet also had a tragic ending. I give it a hoofs-up.
The makings for a good movie.
All it takes is one baaaaaad sheep…
Where did you find they were put down. I remember reading about this when it was breaking news but never heard about them being put down and cant find any news articles that say that.
beanaroo said: “Where did you find they were put down. I remember reading about this when it was breaking news but never heard about them being put down and cant find any news articles that say that.”
I have to agree, I didn’t hear about that culling. No indication in the posted reference article to this culling as well. Do you have a source for it?
very good, i liked that one
I shiver to think what they could do with opposing thumbs…
AZditz said: “The makings for a good movie.”
Or a Pink Floyd song. (Animals, track 4)
Beware the intellectual evolution of the sheep!
They killed them?! They should have kept them and spared them like they spared the cow who ran away from the slaughter house last month.
when WE were taught “stop, drop and roll” no one ever mentioned the shooting part.
That’s sad that the sheep were killed for being so smart!
No, cause once you let em go once…forever will they dominate your density.
Or they could just build a goddamn fence. Sheep can only jump so high.
I’ve always been one to believe that any problem can be effectively resolved with the deadly use of fire-arms, but that’s just me…(not!)
Sheep are actually quite intelligent especially if they aren’t in a heard. I want a super sheep… I’m glad they didn’t get destroyed, it makes for a better disney movie that way. Although they did make a movie about Pokahontas…
Well, when I read the update I wasn’t as shocked as I was when I heard that they were all killed! But yeh, haha way to go sheep! And haven’t the people who shot the sheep ever heard of gates?
Hey, check it out, they must of got the idea here:
http://gprime.net/flash.php/cowswithguns
Great link Tink. That was hilarious. Go sheep go… and cows.
Like that Monty Python sketch: “There’s nothing more dangerous than Harold, a clever sheep”. Except as I remember, they were trying to fly…
Anyone seen the film Black Sheep? Be afraid, BE VERY AFRAID!!!